Let's Talk

You know those conversations that you dread having? You probably know the one I’m talking about.

They’re a bit awkward, and a few minutes in you’re already commenting on the weather.

I’m in Texas so there’s really not a lot to cover here… “Whew it’s a hot one!” In the Spring we have a lot of, “Did you hear that storm last night?”

What if I told you there’s a way to have genuine conversations? Let me preface this with the fact that some conversations simply are…well, awkward. But here are three habits we can work on to become better communicators and shift those conversations from boring to genuine.

Listen to Understand, Not to Respond

I’ve been there. Someone else is speaking and we legitimately cannot wait for the other person to stop speaking so we can talk. Just because you have something to add doesn’t make your story more important. Be an active listener and pay close attention to what the other person is saying. Equally, use verbal and nonverbal cues to show that you have interest in what the other person is saying. When you’re speaking, I’m sure it feels great to get a nod or an “mmhmm.” Allow the conversation to develop naturally and embrace what the other person is saying.

Ask Interesting Questions

Most of us have probably been at a social gathering or a work conference and you can barely say two words before you’re asked, “What do you do?” Or, “Who do you work for?” It’s such a common social script, but it also gives the vibe that you need to prove yourself immediately or impress others. Here are some better alternatives:

Ask about their hobbies or what they’re passionate about.

Find out if someone is doing something that they are currently enjoying, or if they have something they’re looking forward to.

In some instances, asking about someone’s work might be needed for context. But to make your next conversations more engaging, try thinking out of the box. 

Find Common Ground

Luckily for me, I was born in greater Chicagoland. Normally I can find a single degree of separation even if someone hasn’t visited Chicago. For example, they like the Bulls, they’ve been to Wrigley Field, or they love deep dish pizza. Either way, conversations can feel more natural when there is common ground. Favorite music, least favorite tv shows, or best late-night snack…find something in common and then be present and get ready to have a great conversation.

Some of the best conversations come when they’re natural and there’s genuine curiosity. This week, think outside of the box and have some great talks, you never know what connections are waiting for you.