Am I Enough?

In middle school I was awkward. Not a cute awkward, just awkward. I’ll set the scene for you. We need to start with the fact that I had purple glasses and purple braces. Now, I did have a good reason…I grew up in Chicago and I loved Northwestern University more than anything in the world. So clearly, I had to support them every hour of the day. This also included a wardrobe of purple—I had it all, purple t-shirts, socks, jeans, and shoes. Eventually, I grew out of it and started to find my sense of self (but purple is still my favorite color).

One of the biggest shifts that occurred for me, was a shift in my mindset. Before anyone else could give me confidence, I had to believe in myself. I also had to trust myself. In my newsletters and in my coaching conversations I talk a lot about having the ability to be resilient. Most of us don’t have the perfect start to anything. We’re too tall, too short, not perceived to be smart enough, or we didn’t come from the right side of town. Whatever it may be, some of overcoming self-doubt starts with a mindset shift, and then learning to re-frame negative thoughts.

It’s important to first ask, “Is this thought true?” and replace the thought with something that can serve you in the right way. Instead of “I’ll never be good enough,” try “I’m still learning and I’m moving in the right direction.” The odds that you’ll wake up tomorrow and be the most confident person on the planet with zero self-doubt probably won’t happen, but confidence does grow through experience. Keep finding new ways to push past your comfort zone. I have a challenge for you—maybe you have an idea that you’ve been wanting to share, or you’ve been hesitant to speak up in meetings. The next time you have an opportunity, share your ideas, speak up in the meeting. Taking action will help you realize you’re more capable than you think. 

Another tool for working through self-doubt is developing a growth mindset. The opposite of a growth mindset is a fixed mindset, and the belief that talents and intelligence cannot be developed over time. Plenty of times I’ve heard people say, “I’m just not that smart,” or “I’ll never be capable of that.” There’s this fear of failure instead of having the capacity to learn from mistakes. We all have a self-image that we want to protect, but this should not include avoiding new things and seeking approval. Self-doubt will make you believe that giving up easily is better than persevering. Having the ability to shift your mindset takes self-awareness and work, but it’s a powerful way to unlock your potential.

You are enough. Not because you’re perfect, not because you’re not awkward, but because you’re you. My hope is that your willingness to grow, learn, and tackle challenges continues to increase and that with this, your self-doubt will decrease, and your self-confidence will increase. Overcoming self-doubt doesn’t mean you have all the answers, but it is about trusting yourself to take the next step. So don’t wait, continue to build on to your foundation through action, reflection, and self-compassion. As always, I am wishing you the best.